Troublesome Topic: Love and Respect are the Foundation Eph 5

Ephesians 5:33


However, you as individuals, each

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must love his own wife as himself; and I appeal to the wife that she may respect the husband


However, each one of you, yes, each of you individually must love his wife by putting equal priority on her as on yourself, and with the same intensity that you would use to spare your own life from personal danger; and I appeal to each wife to hold her husband in high esteem.


A man’s deepest need that relates to marriage is to be respected and admired; a woman’s deepest need that relates to marriage is to be cherished and treasured. When that deepest need goes unmet, it creates an emotional wound on the deepest level. Two people who once loved each other and were committed to living their lives together end up separating or getting divorced because of wounds. It is not incompatibility, or finances, or arguments about finances; it is the wounds caused by those arguments and the wounds caused by not having one’s most basic need met that cause separation and divorce. When we have been wounded, we react like a little puppy that has been mistreated – just like the little dog will growl or cower, so our options when we have been emotionally wounded are fight or flight.

 The Bible told us all along that the woman needs to be loved and the man needs to be respected. Our modern culture emphasizes love but is silent about respect. In contrast the Bible consistently commands the man to love his wife and consistently commands the wife to respect her husband.

Emmerson Eggeriches has dedicated a number of years to teaching the biblical principles of love and respect as they relate to marriage. I highly recommend his book, Love and Respect, as well as his conferences by that same title. His website, makes available a ton of excellent resources about this topic.

The next lesson is: The Need for Authority Not the Person Holding It Rom 13



The Greek communicates the idea of “each” twice, first with the phrase “you all, according to each one,” or “you all, according to the individual,” and later the specific word for “each.” The sentence starts with a plural pronoun, “you” plural, and then switches to everything being singular.