Troublesome Topic: What If a Woman Were to Follow the Bible’s Teaching about a Woman’s Role in the Home?

For many women this question produces groans. To them it sounds like a step in the wrong direction. Maybe you are one of those women. If you are, I want to speak directly to you for a few, short moments. I ask you to read this entire lesson before deciding on an answer to the question above.

The truth is that none of us will ever find true contentment and satisfaction unless we are living by the principles set forth in God’s word. For you as a woman, that means respecting the primary men in your life (father and husband) and not taking control of family and marriage matters in order to get the outcome you desire. It means not pushing to have your insecurities pacified at all costs.

You may think that following your husband’s leadership will end in disaster, and I’m sure you can give me a long list of reasons why you are convinced you are right about that. But you should also know that, when we follow God, we should expect the unexpected, even the impossible. When we humble ourselves and submit to God’s design, we will see results that we thought were impossible because we were using the eyes of flesh instead of the eyes of faith.

We men flourish when we are encouraged, supported, and trusted. We shrivel, shrink, and withdraw when we are belittled, mocked, and treated like children.

If you want your husband to grow into the mighty man of God you wish he would be, then start giving him the chance to grow in his leadership ability at home. Believe me, a husband will seldom fight (I mean in non-aggressive ways) against his wife for the leadership of the home. That would only get ugly and then get worse. A good and godly man will not force his leadership on you. God and your husband are both waiting for you to choose to follow what God has designed regarding the authority in your home.

If you humble yourself to follow God’s way, it will not be easy, but if you stick with it, you will open the door for some wonderful possibilities (you understand that there are no guarantees). You are much more likely to see your husband flourish as a man of God, to make your home a place of peace and joy, to be able to work together as a couple to guide and discipline your children, to go the same direction in your finances rather than pulling in different directions, and the list could go on and on.

However, if you are inclined to force things to happen in order to achieve the security you desperately seek, you will almost surely experience the following: You will never find security, in fact you will keep getting further away from it; you will never have true peace and joy in your home; you and your husband will not be able to work as a cohesive team about anything; and you will be pulling in different directions instead of heading in the same direction. Here also the list could go on and one.

You must decide. Will you choose the broad and easy way of the flesh and the world, or will you choose the narrow and hard way of following God’s word? The broad way is much easier but it never brings the kind of results you hope for. The narrow way is hard, but it gets easier the more you practice it. What’s more, the narrow way has the potential to produce results that are far beyond what you can ask or imagine.

The next lesson is: Resources I Recommend on the Roles of Men and Women